In the last post I featured my sister who should form a "We make really excellent period chick flicks" club with Emma Thompson and Ang Lee. Now I'm featuring my brother, Teddy, who should form a "21st Century Comedic Gangsters" club with Stephen Colbert and George Saunders. My brother has brought his special brand of hilarity to the arenas of improvisation, playwriting, acting, sketch comedy, and public access television. Now he takes on games, specifically bracketology. Using the same fundamental structure as NCAA Basketball Tournaments, Teddy takes a topic, any topic, and finds 16 competitors within said topic, matches them up with each other,whittle them down to a final 8, then 4, then 2, then a CHAMPION! Teddy also lists his personal picks and justifies them, paying special attention to upsets and Cinderella stories. This might be the best part of the entire idea.
I'll let Teddy take it from here... We'll put his commentary in italics so as to differentiate who is speaking (writing.. whatever).
"On February 24th, 2008, America will learn what a bunch of stodgy old people who hate movies think the year’s best films were. The winners will almost certainly be undeserving, and you will almost certainly be disappointed. But should it be this way? I answer with a resounding “nay.” The Oscars are all about pulling for your favorite movies of the year. Thus, this week’s Bracketology offers you 15 Oscar Nominees (and one delightful fraud) and gives you the chance to Barack the vote in selecting your own personal Best Picture."
1. No Country For Old Men versus 16. Norbit
Two frightening films. Javier Bardem was chilling as a cattle gun-toting assassin, and I still have nightmares about Eddie Murphy’s bikini-clad behemoth. Wait—what’s that you say? Norbit was complete trash and make-up shouldn’t even be an Oscars category? Oh, right. EDGE: No Country.
8. Sicko vs. 9. The Savages
Yes, we’re all a little sick(o) of the Michael Moore routine of interviewing poor people in Flint and trying to get interviews with mean celebrities. That said, the opening scene of The Savages involves an old man writing on a wall with his own fecal matter. I simply can’t reward that. EDGE: Sicko.
I'll let Teddy take it from here... We'll put his commentary in italics so as to differentiate who is speaking (writing.. whatever).
"On February 24th, 2008, America will learn what a bunch of stodgy old people who hate movies think the year’s best films were. The winners will almost certainly be undeserving, and you will almost certainly be disappointed. But should it be this way? I answer with a resounding “nay.” The Oscars are all about pulling for your favorite movies of the year. Thus, this week’s Bracketology offers you 15 Oscar Nominees (and one delightful fraud) and gives you the chance to Barack the vote in selecting your own personal Best Picture."
1. No Country For Old Men versus 16. Norbit
Two frightening films. Javier Bardem was chilling as a cattle gun-toting assassin, and I still have nightmares about Eddie Murphy’s bikini-clad behemoth. Wait—what’s that you say? Norbit was complete trash and make-up shouldn’t even be an Oscars category? Oh, right. EDGE: No Country.
8. Sicko vs. 9. The Savages
Yes, we’re all a little sick(o) of the Michael Moore routine of interviewing poor people in Flint and trying to get interviews with mean celebrities. That said, the opening scene of The Savages involves an old man writing on a wall with his own fecal matter. I simply can’t reward that. EDGE: Sicko.
5. Michael Clayton vs. 12. Ratatouille
Fact: George Clooney is more popular than Stalin in a Russian election, and Michael Clayton was legitimately good. But Ratatouille made me hungry in the best kind of way. I can’t quite put the feeling into words, but you’re probably feeling it too. Just makes you want some soup or something. EDGE: Ratatouille.
4. Juno vs. 13. Enchanted
I’m going to preserve my masculinity in revealing that all I’ve seen of Enchanted is three Youtube clips. And while Juno may have been a little too quirky for me, that’s obviously preferable to the most annoying musical since Wicked. (Yes, 12-year old girls who could be reading this-- I went there.) EDGE: Juno.
3. Atonement vs. 14. The Golden Compass
The battle of the adaptations of British novels starring insufferable little girls! These movies also feature what were probably the two best scenes of the year: James McAvoy typing his naughty letter and the armored polar bear brawl. With all due respect to Iorek Byrnison and his awesome jaw-swiping abilities, this is no contest. EDGE: Atonement.
6. Charlie Wilson’s War vs. The Kite Runner
The Battle of Afghanistan! (That came out wrong.) Anyway, I’m sort of a sucker for star power and Charlie Wilson’s War had it in great supply. A ludicrous-yet-entertaining movie. EDGE: Charlie Wilson.
7. American Gangster vs. 10. Sweeney Todd
It’s true that the stars of Sweeney Todd couldn’t really sing. But they all embodied their characters so convincingly; I truly felt like I was in grimy mid-19th century London. On the other hand, for me American Gangster didn’t have the same Denzel magic as The Great Debaters or Remember the Titans. I’m going upset. EDGE: Sweeney.
2. There Will Be Blood vs. 15. National Treasure 2: Book of Secrets
Fine. National Treasure wasn’t actually nominated. I guess it gets DQ’d for that little technicality. But it would have absolutely won the Oscar for the Best Stupidly Ridiculous Plot. Or Best Nicolas Cage Facial Expression. Or Worst Use of Helen Mirren. EDGE: Blood.
Elite Eight
1. Old Country vs. 8. Sicko
Drug dealers beat drug lobbyists. EDGE: No Country.
12. Ratatouille vs. 4. Juno
Juno the Home Skillet defeats…skillets. EDGE: Juno.
[Editor's note. This is funny, I would have gone the other way around. I found a rat wanting to be a chef a fraction more believable then a teenage girl that doesn't get upset when she finds out she's pregnant. I mean, I liked Juno and all, but-- you know.]
3. Atonement vs. 6. Charlie Wilson
Charlie Wilson got just a little too crazy. I refuse to believe that Soviet fighter pilots would discuss relationship issues while on missions. I refuse. EDGE: Atonement.
10. Sweeney Todd vs. There Will Be Blood
In a shocking upset, I’m saying bloody beats Blood. EDGE: Sweeney.
FINAL FOUR
1. No Country vs. 4. Juno
I’ll take the drama with funny parts over the comedy that I couldn’t take seriously. EDGE: No Country.
3. Atonement vs. 10. Sweeney Todd
I’m still mad at that little girl from Atonement. Still. And I don’t really care (SPOILER alert!) that everyone in Sweeney Todd died or went insane. Sweeney’s Cinderella run ends here. EDGE: Atonement.
CHAMPIONSHIP
1. No Country For Old Men vs. 3. Atonement
I ended up picking the same two movies that all of the stodgy old voters will pick. So maybe this bracket has no point. But regardless, these were two great films with slightly flawed endings. They are both winners. Except Atonement.
CHAMP: No Country For Old Men MVP: The haunting lack of music.
[ Editor's Note. My MVP goes to Javier Bardem's trademark weaponry. Yikes on bikes!]
3. Atonement vs. 6. Charlie Wilson
Charlie Wilson got just a little too crazy. I refuse to believe that Soviet fighter pilots would discuss relationship issues while on missions. I refuse. EDGE: Atonement.
10. Sweeney Todd vs. There Will Be Blood
In a shocking upset, I’m saying bloody beats Blood. EDGE: Sweeney.
FINAL FOUR
1. No Country vs. 4. Juno
I’ll take the drama with funny parts over the comedy that I couldn’t take seriously. EDGE: No Country.
3. Atonement vs. 10. Sweeney Todd
I’m still mad at that little girl from Atonement. Still. And I don’t really care (SPOILER alert!) that everyone in Sweeney Todd died or went insane. Sweeney’s Cinderella run ends here. EDGE: Atonement.
CHAMPIONSHIP
1. No Country For Old Men vs. 3. Atonement
I ended up picking the same two movies that all of the stodgy old voters will pick. So maybe this bracket has no point. But regardless, these were two great films with slightly flawed endings. They are both winners. Except Atonement.
CHAMP: No Country For Old Men MVP: The haunting lack of music.
[ Editor's Note. My MVP goes to Javier Bardem's trademark weaponry. Yikes on bikes!]
Back to Kit.
So there he is my brother being (as usual) crazy ingenious and super hilarious! I'm completely touting Teddy's "bracketology" as the new Sudoku. Only you don't have to do stupid, annoying adding. Just having fun! Hooray for Teddy!
I have some really awesome book/radio recommends coming up. And a special surprise interview with a special surprise guest about a special surprise subject! Rock! Until then, you know I never fail to be...
Affectionately Yours,
Kit Steinkellner
